Saturday, August 23, 2014

Excessive Spanking, What would you do? (Real Life)

 
 
 
 
So here I am, trying each day to find positivity on this Earth and share it with friends, new people and in my life. I just want to share with you a page of my thoughts and what I have witnessed, then after that I may write about my personal experience towards disciplining children, how much is too much and what a spanking did to me as a kid. So please review the situation below:
 
This has to be the worst night of my life in a shelter. Not only, did I hear and see a mother beating her kids excessively with a belt, but they were no more than 5yrs old two black little girls who were holding each other as their mother stripped their clothes down and beat them as the water sprayed onto their little bodies.  I was taking a shower myself and happen to look out from all of the hollering and whipping noise. That was at 7pm. I was in shock and couldn't finish my shower, I had to leave the bathroom to process what happened to those girls, was real and sad.
 
It's now Midnight and this same "mother" woke me up outta my sleep because she was beating one of her 5 yr. old daughters senseless in a bathroom stall, while the other child sat there outside the stall waiting for her whooping. At first, in disbelief at what I was hearing, but I could no longer hold myself back or heart from this outrageous abuse. 20 lashes every 30 seconds, didn't give the child enough oxygen to even breathe thru her screams as her "mother" beat her into a corner. I had to step in, this child was in danger.
 
I walked in the bathroom through all of the child's hollers and begging to confront this evil person. I told her to stop beating the child, WE all can hear her and she has to stop now. She abruptly told me to mind my own business and go in my room. Abusers abuse because they were once abused first. I get it, but that child needed to know that she has a voice and people in this world will protect her even from her own mother. So I told her several times to stop, while the child shook in the corner with fear. The "mother" then said to me, "Mind your own business, do you have kids? Oh, well when you have your baby then you will understand. My child wet the bed and I'm beating her for that."
 
So, she revealed to me why she was beating her child excessively and why she's doing it in a locked bathroom stall. To me, she was an admitted abuser who needed to be dealt with and the look of violence in her eyes told me she was going to hit me next if I didn't leave. So, now she became a threat to that child, both kids, and to me.
 
I got loud saying how outrageous this is so my room mates can wake up and notice, it's serious. I called the police and walked around looking for the staff members to catch her in the act, she was continuing to beat the child even when I left. it echoed all thru the shelter, and even downstairs. The staff members are Catholic and real Nuns, who pray and try to have a positive attitude towards us. I went down the stairs to see if any staff was there, and just like upstairs it was pitched black dark, all you can hear was a child screaming and 20 lashes of the belt and hands. Not a soul in the hallway to investigate the horrific noise. Eventually the local authorities came out to investigate, I told them what I witnessed and how disruptive the whole shelter is because this mother won't stop. Unbeknownst to me, one of the officers in particular said to me personally that he does approve of "beating" your kids because he "beats his own kids" and proceeded to say, he will come investigate but "even if that child has marks on her legs, I will let her go because kids move"  Shocking and personal reaction from our local law enforcement, wow. Finally, I told him why she was beating the child in the first place. Because the child "wet the bed" and his reaction was a surprised look. So, I was hoping they would act and see proof asap.
 
Eventually they head upstairs and talk to the mother who was still in the bathroom stall with the child. I was asked to go back in my room so she would stop trying to verbally abuse me. her roommates, other mothers came to be noisy and ask" if everything was okay and if they needed to watch the kids. People need to ask first before calling the cops" I was told in a passive manner.
 
So the next morning, there's a face-to-face argument with 2 of the women in the shelter about loud music at night when one has to work. I discover, the aggressive mother was still here and the cops must of let her off the hook. She stared me up and down and tried bumping into my 5-month belly and missed. Ironic isn't it, I was getting persecuted for standing up for Justice. Anyways, I tried to distance myself from her sight, but now everybody was talking about the fight between the women and me calling the cops on the abusive mother. The women started staring me down and trying to make me feel bad for a whole hour, gossip spread like fire. The icing on the cake was when the Abusive "Mother" confronted me and thanked me for calling the cops because it "Helped" her, and I told her "I'm glad to be of help to you" and she was getting madder and madder, walking to my face with her bullying. And the last thing she did was call me a "stupid hoe for even calling the police" right in front of the Nuns and other women.  they all just looked away and looked at me like nothing happened.
 
My Experience: Let me get short and sweet to the point. Growing up, my mother was very strict, she liked the house spotless and if I didn't do a chore right I would get beat with an extension cord, a thick belt, a slipper, a switch from off a tree until there was whelps on my legs. being young at age 5-14 I would get whooping for the smallest things that weren't orderly in her world. The physical wounds heal but the psychological abuse stayed with me. I became shy and even more quiet in school, I was an A's and B's student who had very few friends. I was called "heifer" "bitch" "water head" "ugly" by my own mother, she was a total bully to me. I did my best to love her unconditionally.
 
All that excessive beating over if I left a book for church at home, I got a red ass for it and sent to bed with no food, or no internet by the time I was 14. She would evolve into "grounding" us for a month or two, taking our PlayStation, games, and not allowed outside, even cut off the internet for a whole month if we didn't do our chores correctly. Me and my siblings weren't terrible kids. All I can wrap it up as that my mother was born in the 1950s, thrown to her family members, abandoned by her mother and the household was full of abuse, they would get hit with wooden or metal spoons, pots thrown at them. There was incest in the household and jealousy from her own siblings and family members. So she had a hard life, and all she knew was what she learned from her family on how to discipline kids.
 
I feel personally, more communication, less physical abuse, less psychological abuse, more patience and a parent as to be eager to not repeat generational curses would of helped me become more of a whole person instead of hollow. The beatings made me feel less than human, like I was made self-sufficient which was good, to cook and clean, but in a violent manner caused a lot of resent me towards my mother. I try to love her thru it, but as of today we do not talk because she is very hostile towards me even after the loss of my first son, Benjamin. It made me fear my mother more than God, made me fear talking to her about anything, made me feel worthless and that was not true.
 
Talk to your kids, be more patient, pray for them, and yes I'm being persecuted right now verbally by this mother at a shelter, but I have boundaries and will not tolerate her bullying me for doing what was right. God had the finally say in everything, and I will do my part by protecting myself from harm, especially my unborn child.
 
 
Stay Blessed, and I will keep posting more topics. Ask yourself, if you witnessed real abuse, would you step in or stay silent. Are you a follower or a Leader? Ask yourself.
 
 
 
 
 
 


Friday, January 24, 2014

Don't Let a Man Define You! Pick up that Mirror and talk to yourself!

Now let me say first, I do not condone domestic violence to get your point across, but this scene, she just did what we WANTED to do to those ungrateful, loveless, assholes in our lives that take us for granted, go on to the next bitch and leave us in the darkness crying alone. The Diary of a Mad Black woman, should be played once a week all over the country because It's a real issue in our society today. As women of color, we get treated badly, used up, abused, told we are ugly, not good enough, shown the end of a fist and told to get up and say "I'm OK" when we are far from that. I've had my experiences in my little life, many lessons, many stories, but what hurts me the most is a man I trusted for the past 4 years, emotionally unavailable, a liar, cheater, abusive in every way. But after you have been through thick and thin with each other, you gain a sense of respect. The part that kills me, is that I am not getting my emotional needs met, Men are great listeners, but not good at showing emotion. Why is that?

It's 2014, and we got our wish as women, Men are more sensitive, so sensitive they lay up on you and turn gay??? Really?So tell me why do the macho men act so strong and brave to everybody, but can't shed a tear for your troubles and get mad for the injustice. It's not sexual frustration that has me writing this this morning, it's this new era of selfishness, abuse, and realization that most people don't give a damn as long as their family is in tact, then when it comes to you, you're just a fucking trill ride and no emotional pun to give back to your broken heart. I keep saying I am done crying over the lack of friendship I now have, because I'm a grown woman, but I still hurt like a child. I'm strong and get tired of being strong, when I reach out to you, it is because I am sharing my heart, my intimacy. SEE INTO ME and comfort me with a hug, a kind gesture, tears, get angry. Because If you were my true friend I shouldn't have to ask you for any of this, you would already know because you treat people the way that you wanted to be treated. We have history and I'm left in the darkness after all we've been through?

Is the Mic on? SO Ladies, I picked up a mirror this morning, looked in it, not shy away and talked to myself! I told myself that I MATTER, I'm important, don't let a man define you or any human because they will fuck over you if you give them the power to! Love yourself, pamper yourself, make time for you, so that you choose more wisely next time. And look for someone emotionally available with no strings attached, one that accepts you for who you are. So Pick up that mirror ladies! Talk to yourself, because you are your worst enemy, only you can fix the damage once it's done, don't give them the power to ruin the rest of your day. This is MyYuniko, please stay tuned for more blogs to come!

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

CRAZY JUDGE AND CRIMINAL







This is how the justice system should work LOL ****Warning profanity used.**** This guy is a comedian on Youtube I'm checking out. I wish Judges were more harsher like this right here. Watch and read my view/opinion below.



My Views on the Justice System

I'm not political or liberal at all but, based on my life experiences with Men vs me reaching out for help through the police, the state detectives and district attorneys, The system works for the criminal 70% of the time depending on your area.

I'm a living survivor of it's fuck ups per se, my spirit is stronger but justice was not always served. I think they should have been more harsher on the convicted party and believed the evidence in my situations. Louisiana is like Hell on Earth for me, because there is so much rape and domestic violence that gets unreported before it's too late. And when you do report them, the police, the detective don't believe you at all here.
Crime is everywhere but I have to say Louisiana is on of the worst states for crime to grow.

As for my former boyfriends or guys I was dating, things got violent, turned sexually abusive, physically, and mentally manipulated through these Sadists and wolf-in-sheep's clothing.

They can call a crime consensual or a misunderstanding, use pictures of you that were sent confidentially before they became abusive and showed you a whole new world of hurt. I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy the complete violation of a woman's body for a Man to just violate again and again. And get away with it!

So Young women, young men, love each other, respect each other's personal space and teach younger generations to not abuse each other, harm each other in anyway, No human has the right to take another's life or innocence in the world. Absolutely No one.


Want to stay updated on my New Videos of 2014?! Go to www.youtube.com/MyYuniko and Subscribe!

Monday, August 26, 2013

Bringing Back the 70s

Well, it's 2013 and natural afros along with kinky curls are taking over the USA! it's about time, that we African American brothers and sisters love our natural God-given hair in it's natural state: Curly. Black is B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L and you should also love the skin you're in, including your HAIR! So, I've decided to start my own T-shirt Company with this vision of Bringing back the 70s, that retro never forgetabble era, where Love and Peace was the norm and motto. So come with me on this journey as I try to bring positivity to the world as we know it. I'm going to be making t-shirts with silk screening companies from the west coast. It's gonna be expensive in bulk, and with that said I need your help! ALL donations go towards the t-shirt company, the shipping and handling and the silk screening process. So below is a video in more detail on what entails for this project, please review the video before making your decision: Now If you've decided that you believe in my goal and love the 70s, please select the Donate button below! It is a wise investment for those of you who like the idea and want to support my small business. For samples of the artwork that have my signature, please email me at CourtneyG824@hotmail.com. I can mail you a signed artwork with minor shipping and handling asap. And for those who are donating by the bulk (100 t-shirts) I will give you a free 12-month professional calender with your investments after the production and sales, along with your logo on the second run of t-shirts in bulk. Thank you all and God Bless!

Monday, January 9, 2012

2012 and my Current accomplishments, concerns and feelings this fresh year



2012' and my Start
Hello there Bloggers, I'm not sure who tunes into my Blog, but I do know that I have been on Hiatus. And for that I apologize.  I have been focused and determined to complete what goals I could last year/last month and I did.  I prepared for the GED and thru all the struggles, tears, worries:

I Passed that Test with flying colors!  Finally, that door of opportunity was now opened for me. It was closed for so long but not anymore. I've been out of regular school for at least 6 years. During that time, I was working, raising my nieces, taking care of my Family and trying to survive.  I've also applied for college, Computer Science because I love technology and to "fix" or trouble shoot and enhance programs and hardware. I'm also looking to transfer later on, maybe a year or 2 into a field of work in psychology, mainly, Sociology.

I'm back with my Mother, and our relationship took a positive turn. We reconciled our misunderstanding as a distant thing. Not big enough to tear our bond.  I'm so grateful to the Lord for hope to be revealed to me about our Mother-daughter relationship. Things are a lot better then before, she has opened up to me and we are on the right track. 

I also found...unexpected tender, strong Love. It's a healthy relationship. He's very supportive and very understanding. Very loving and I smile when I think about him, and his hearty laughter..his strong arms, his businessman demeanor, his tender, yet loving kisses. Hr also tickles me to death with his hilarious jokes and playful attitude! It has gotten pretty serious, and I hope I have some good news to tell you all by July 2012:) some official news!   Keep me in your prayers.  Hah.   I am giving him a hard/beautiful time.   I say hard because being on my own and dealing with some horrific incidents in the past 3 years...the past month....have taken a toll on my emotions, my heart and my strength.


 But one thing I have never lost, is my faith in the Most High. God has kept me alive all this time, helped me get thru it all. I am forever grateful and continuing on the path that he has set for me. For my life was already written, I am just trying to help every person that I can, and I am not the most public person. Very private, but if my Blogs help. Then I'm grateful...

Apparently, some of my childhood trauma are creeping up on me. It all wasn't addressed, I did have years of therapy and formed my own way of coping, my own way of protecting my body, mind and soul. But what bothers me, is that I have a hard time fully trusting men. It's putting a damper on my relationship right now and didn't know it was an underlying issue I've been healing and come a long way, yet I worry about things..that many young women don't have to worry about too much. I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy to go thru the Trauma that I have gone thru.  

But I'm here. And the living breathing Christian woman, striving forward to fulfill my purpose that God has set before me and to complete my personal goals. This year, I want to be a Wife, a Mother, have foundation and a Career in Technology and Psychology, to be specific, Sociology.  To also, better myself, from the inside out. I have been reconstructing what my past has smashed into pieces. Bit by bit and I am liking what I see. May take a lifetime but I know that I am on the right path.


There is a God, God is love, he is the breathe in your body, the conscience of your mind, the pain in your heart when something bothers you.  Have faith, remain steadfast, help out all those you can, follow in Jesus Christ's footsteps and seek counsel thru God's word, thru the Bible.  Thank you all and God Bless each and everyone of you.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Never Give up, espeically on your faith in God





Well things have turned for the worst.    Although I had good intentions on my goals, I am going to be set back now.  All thanks to losing my place to stay.  Yea I know, *gasp*  How? Why? When?  But I guess it's very rough and stressful when you have a family like mines.  I was staying with my Mom on and off for the past few months, and going to school whenever I got the bus fare. Over a silly disagreement she told me to "Get out, I don't have to put up with you" And she doesn't but I'm a GIRL...and have done alot for the household even without a Job!  I cook, clean, was a shoulder for her to lean on, very attentive and I tried my best to distribute and replace any food I ate, put money i her hand, you name it.....

I'm not one to bad talk anybody or share any personal business of my own, but I feel the need to Blog and I already am writing in my Journal, it would do me some good, and maybe help others. So here goes.

Basically my family meaning my Mother, 4 other siblings aren't what you consider close.  Especially these days...and I find it sad how things have changed for the worst.  I am the youngest girl, and I have a younger brother but if you looked at him now you would think he was my BIG brother and I was the baby of the family haha.

Anyways, let's get down to it,  My Mother...how I love her so, yet she constantly disowns me and treats me like no part of her.  I know I wasn't adopted, I look JUST like her! I dunno, it just seems everything she taught us when we were kids, I listened and became the Responsible one in the batch of kids, I'd say.   My Mother also suffers from Bi-Polar depression, so do I, It seems my family has that going on and Cancer on both sides.  So....I'm 21 right now and I always have been treated like the black sheep of the family. :(

I cook, clean, have raised my nieces (I mean literally)  and always have been a stable/unconditional love and support for my family.  I don't drink heavily, don't smoke or do ANY drugs or crimes at all.  Nor am I perfect.  I feel I am a good daughter and she knows it, yet I don't meet up to her requirements I guess.


Which brings me to my next point....religion and my Mom.  She's a Jehovah's Witness and I actually grew up in the "truth"  but I always felt pressured by my mother....and the organization to preach/teach and not be apart of the "world"  It's funny and painful how I look back at all the time I spent, missing out on Life and opportunities to spread my wings as a child.  My mother was very strict about the religion, forced me to not celebrate holidays, to not have any friends outside the religion, I got whooping s and beaten very often if i wasn't neat or forgot to bring the right book for the Meetings.  I wasn't raised like a Normal child should be raised.  I guess :/

So I kept feeling like i was missing out on Life and wondered "Why? Why does Jehovah only love  this organization of people"  "Why can't I celebrate the day I was born, and why can't I befriend my classmates?"  My questions unanswered, I would be punished and ignored a lot when i did ask.

So Katrina hits (that;s a story for another time)  And we are over in San Antonio, TX as evacuees in a crisis shelter, and let me say... Katrina was a devastating event.  I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.  Anyways, a  family came to the shelter one day.   A lot of families were opening their homes to us, because we had lost everything. They were called the Wallace Family.  So Me, my Mom, my older sister and her child, and brother stayed with them at their lovely home. My mom eventually got her own house and a full house of furniture within 2 weeks, thanks to donations and people from her Religion.  But I was going to school near this family's house I felt like I had a 2nd family when I stayed with them.  They were a very loving, warm, fun family.  Who believed in God, and that was the first stepping stone to my curiosity about belief outside of the JW's  The couple were in their 30s and had 2 daughters at the time, under the age of 12.  The man of the house really started having Bible studies with me because I was curious like I said.  So we started studying every other day and Him and His Wife taught me alot about God, and his son Jesus, about Trinity and all kinds of subjects that I had been curious about for years.

  You see, religion is a touchy subject in this world I guess for a superficial world.  A lot of people believe in God, and some just don't which is unfortunate.  I strongly believe in God, and Jesus Christ saving me, and us all.  The day I accepted Jesus into my heart was the day my eyes were fully opened.  I think I was about 16 when it happened,  I was at a Christian Church with the Wallace family  and they asked all those who want to accept Jesus as your God and Savior to come forth, I went up there and got on my knees, feeling a tingling sensation then it hit me.  What Jesus did for us.....and I cried...not tears of sadness, but tears of joy and thankfulness, I really felt it....what God did for us...the price his son, Jesus had to pay for us to receive God's Mercy and Grace.  Without that, we wouldn't have stood a chance! This is Satan's playing field...Earth.

So my mom was hurt really bad when I told her  that I don't want to go to her meetings and practice in the Jehovah's Witnesses thing.  She drew further away from me and by 17, she kept on trying ot put me out, and I had no job experience at 18, but after 2 years I finally have some experience under my belt and have had my own Apartment.  So....now she says that she will never let me stay with her again and all kinda of hurtful stuff like " I came in the world alone, I'm done helping you"  What the hell?  What kind of Mother do I have?   I am not a bad daughter.   My other 2 sister's she keeps comparing me with have had babies, threw them on her and me, partied all these years, and doing who know's what.  They also have disrespected my mom, got into fights and all kinds of stuff. That is something I will never do!   But she still tries to wait on me to slip up.  I'm 21 and have no kids, no drug habits, I just simply fell on hard times when I lost my full-time job :/




So I'll end with,  yes I'm in a Shelter and looking for work. But I will never give up on God, he never has let me down.   Already he has blessed me with meeting a few people who really seem concerned about my well being and helped me get around these past few days to find something more stable for myself.   I also had an Interview 2 days ago at Rouses Supermarket (A new one) down here, and it went Great!  The hiring Manager was so Impressed with my persona, that he put a smiley face on my application and said "  I'm putting yours in the Good pile"   Haha  so all thanks to God that I was able to get a lead on this job and another....that I'm not on the street....and I am reminded...yesterday in a lovely sermon,by a pastor,  "God is working right now,  he woke you up this Morning"  :)  Thank the Lord and Thanks all who listen and read this.  I hope you all have a blessed day and remember,  NEVER GIVE UP, God is always there for you. Be there for him when he calls!

Friday, October 21, 2011

My Current Goals




Hi there!

It's your girl, Yuniko, a.k.a Courtney.   Now I want to share my current goals and a little bit of insight on where I'm at right now I'm life.

My main Goal is to maintain my Physical Health, I haven't been getting a whole lot of good sleep and been struggling a little over difficulties in my Life right now.

I've been looking for work for quite some time and with no success.  The field of work I mainly worked in was Customer Service/Retail. So that's all I know and I truly enjoyed my previous jobs. Sure the hours are long and sometimes you become sleep deprived..or pushed past your limit...But it's worth it in the end, to see a customer smile and to be helpful..especially 40 hrs a week looks nice on a check x)


Anyways, I am not working right now, but looking,  the next goal is my GED, I'm looking to finish the last bit of studying to take this test and go off to college hopefully. I know you're probably wondering... "Girl, why didn't you finish school?"  Well that's another story for another time, but long story short.. I couldn't handle the sexual harassment from boys and..erm teachers. :/  I was an A and B student, a quiet girl, very fair...but suffered a lot with guys wanting to "touch" me :/  SO in the end I was taken out and home schooled for a lil bit.  Ended up working at 18 to 21, talk about no job experience and hard times haha.

The Big accomplishment I did was get my Own apartment,  paid my own bills, was a block away from my previous job, able to shop and do whatever.  So that brings me into my 3rd goal...regain my Independence and draw closer to God.

I'm not a go-to-church every Sunday ( I would like to :/) and catch the holy ghosts every session kinda young woman, But I believe in God, and what his son, Jesus, did for us...to receive God's Grace and have a clear example on how to treat others, our family, friends, marriage and his creations of Earth.

So, I have a very personal relationship with the Lord and I'm proud to say that I am saved. Without God in My Life, I would feel hopeless in this predicament. But he gives me strength everyday, and determination to push forward.

I'd also like to post a video every week at least 1  on my channel>.<  I don;t like going weeks without posting..it's not intentional...just lack of privacy and other things:/  Please be patient :D

So it's only a matter of time before I get these goals completed.

I do Hope you all tune into my life...Yuniko's World, and my Youtube channel  http://www.youtube.com/user/MyYuniko 

Thank you all and God Bless :)